just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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