I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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