I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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