I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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