theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is Oprah even human
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
