Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
