YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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