i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
