Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
