Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Two words: blizzard sex
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
