I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize