Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you win again, gameday.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
