You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize