what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize