He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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