Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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