I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She needs sedatives and a leash
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
