apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
