Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
