He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
