i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
