OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
