i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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