Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
