Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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