Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm always down for nudity.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
