i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
