My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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