if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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