i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
