Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
