I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
