Already got asked if we're dating
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Only a mothe r could love this liver
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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