woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
