I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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