i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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