Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
