About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
