she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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