I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
