It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
a search helicopter?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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