We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
