hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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