It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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