You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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