he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she was so not down for the gang bang
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
