Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
