she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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