sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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