I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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