You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
