so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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