Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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