i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
