After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
