He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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