FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
