then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
