Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
