Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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