all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
