Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
