My liver just broke up with me...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
organizing the empties. That sober.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
